How about a fast-forward button?

by moniguzman on August 27, 2014

When pregnancy blahs get extra blah-y, this is what I keep thinking about:

What if I nodded off — or better yet, took off my body, kept it safe and fed and packed with multivitamins in a temperature-controlled closet somewhere and existed as some floating, thinking, pain-free all-mind — until around the time I deliver my second baby?

Wouldn’t that be great?

I know, I know. It wouldn’t. I’d be stupid to miss any of what’s pretty much an awesome life. Plus, this pregnancy isn’t even bad. It’s better than my first one. No pelvic pain keeping me from walking more than two blocks. No carpal tunnel keeping me from typing.

But it’s all those bits of discomfort, you know? It’s waddling with them, tossing and turning with them, not sleeping with them — and time just crawls along, not giving a crap — that makes this thought fantastic.

Every Wednesday I graduate to another week of gestation. Today is 32 weeks! Yay! But you know what? 40 still feels like forever. There’s next Wednesday. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one….

A friend had her baby two weeks early on Sunday and now I’m daring to hope. 38 weeks is still full term. 38 weeks is two fewer than 40.

If I can’t get a fast-forward button, universe, how about I meet the new love of my life at 38 weeks? Or at least 39, since you made me wait a whole 41 to see my son?

Can I get a “maybe”? A “possibly”? An “I’ll think about it”? Hello?

FINE.

I’ll wait.

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