MóNICA GUZMáN

Shame is that feeling you get when you realize you’ve violated the norms of your community. But it only works when it comes from your community. And can backfire when it doesn’t. When I heard Megan Phelps-Roper make this point in a talk I watched on YouTube, it explained so much. Megan is the host of a thought-provoking and controversial podcast called “The Witch Trials of JK Rowling.” But years before that, she was a spokesperson for something far more notorious: the Westb

“Hurt people hurt people.” It’s a lovely bit of rhetoric that happens to say something profound. To quote my new friend Erin Jones on a related point, “People say hateful things not because they actually hate you, but because they don’t know you.” And they’re probably coming from a lot of hurt. I first heard about Erin, an author, speaker, and former Teacher of the Year, when the Innovia Foundation invited me to Spokane to speak about bridging the political divide weeks bef

In my work I think a lot about the relationship between truth and trust. How you need trust to get to truth. Especially the kinds of deep down truth that each of us carries a piece of, that we need stronger conversations to access and share. When I was a daily journalist, I felt like I was constantly chasing truth. Now, I get a chance to try (and try hard!) to get a better grip on what it takes to build trust. I’ve just been named the inaugural McGurn Fellow for Media Integ

In my house we are *obsessed* with the soundtrack to Roald Dahl’s Matilda the Musical. Especially “School Song,” a clever track that follows the alphabet as young prefects tell an even younger Matilda how to survive at a school ruled by a tyrannical headmistress. And after learning about two big events in higher ed — the disruptions of a conservative judge’s talk at Stanford Law School and a bill that would ban DEI programs and any major or minor “associated with Critical Th

My eyes lingered on a short, quick tweet awhile before I realized it was one of the most delightfully curious compliments I’d ever seen. It came when journalist Amanda Ripley, author of High Conflict, thanked Claudia Chwalisz, founder of the very promising civic org DemocracyNext, for ideas she wrote up in a quick post. “This is lovely,” Amanda wrote. “Led me to places I had not been.” Led me to places I had not been… That phrase about sums up the rewards of the kind of op

A conservative friend of mine — let’s call her Jen — just attended one of those dialogue-rich events in a major city with a liberal friend. Minutes in, she sensed that the whole room and discussion were unconsciously progressive and thought about ducking out. “Hang in there,” her friend told her. “Your point of view matters, too.” Jen stuck around through lunch, when she ended up sharing her very divergent perspective with the organizer. He then invited her to share it with t

It started with a question. A man named Alan turned to a woman named Jamie — both of them locals in Edmonds, Washington, who’d signed up to try disagreeing curiously with each other in front of a roomful of their neighbors — and asked her to share what concerned her about something he supported: stationing police officers in schools. “My concern?” Jamie said, putting her hand on her chin to think. “I think it’s… it’s… it’s fake safety.” Watch the video of that moment and w

There’s always a bit of awkwardness when you walk into a friend’s home for the first time, a tension I find myself defusing by looking for something to compliment, fast. Ooh I like that rug where’d you get it? A home is not just a place, after all. It’s a giant chunk of someone’s life. And one of the richest opportunities to learn more about it. I felt this in a big way last week in the home of renowned Mexican artist Frida Kahlo. Frida wasn’t there to show me around her b

Ever notice something in you jump in shock when somebody you’re listening closely to says something you really don’t like? That’s what happened to me when Jonathan Haidt called curiosity “selfish.” I was interviewing the renowned social psychologist and author for this latest episode of the Braver Angels Podcast when he said it, fairly casually, on his way to making one of many fascinating points. I knew he didn’t mean it as a takedown of getting curious; chasing knowledge

As I packed up from one of my curiosity workshops this summer, a participant named Don came up to me. He was thrilled about what he’d learned, but was confused about one thing. “You asked us to avoid judging each other so we could stay curious,” he told me. “But my judgments are what help me stay curious.” When he explained what he meant, it made total sense. He’s sitting there during the exercise, listening to his partner lay out her opinion on gun regulations. A judgment p

“Don’t assume that what you voted against is what they voted for.” When I read that tip from Nealin Parker in USA Today this week, I instantly recognized one of the nastiest myths in our politics: the idea that a different choice is a rejection of our values. Or, to put it in more emotional terms, that if they oppose what you support, they must hate what you love. But what if they don’t? Certainty is the archvillain of curiosity. When you think you know, you won’t think to

“Our brains are most productive when there is no demand that they be reactive.” A mentor of mine, psychologist Sherry Turkle, made that claim in her insightful book Reclaiming Conversation. And the more I study what it means to reclaim curiosity, the more I’ve come to see it as a mission critical truth. Buzzes. Pings. Notifications. That itch to check countless inboxes on email and social media. This is how our minds stay tethered to our silos, following other journeys inst