MóNICA GUZMáN

A conservative friend of mine — let’s call her Jen — just attended one of those dialogue-rich events in a major city with a liberal friend. Minutes in, she sensed that the whole room and discussion were unconsciously progressive and thought about ducking out. “Hang in there,” her friend told her. “Your point of view matters, too.” Jen stuck around through lunch, when she ended up sharing her very divergent perspective with the organizer. He then invited her to share it with t

It started with a question. A man named Alan turned to a woman named Jamie — both of them locals in Edmonds, Washington, who’d signed up to try disagreeing curiously with each other in front of a roomful of their neighbors — and asked her to share what concerned her about something he supported: stationing police officers in schools. “My concern?” Jamie said, putting her hand on her chin to think. “I think it’s… it’s… it’s fake safety.” Watch the video of that moment and w

There’s always a bit of awkwardness when you walk into a friend’s home for the first time, a tension I find myself defusing by looking for something to compliment, fast. Ooh I like that rug where’d you get it? A home is not just a place, after all. It’s a giant chunk of someone’s life. And one of the richest opportunities to learn more about it. I felt this in a big way last week in the home of renowned Mexican artist Frida Kahlo. Frida wasn’t there to show me around her b

Ever notice something in you jump in shock when somebody you’re listening closely to says something you really don’t like? That’s what happened to me when Jonathan Haidt called curiosity “selfish.” I was interviewing the renowned social psychologist and author for this latest episode of the Braver Angels Podcast when he said it, fairly casually, on his way to making one of many fascinating points. I knew he didn’t mean it as a takedown of getting curious; chasing knowledge

As I packed up from one of my curiosity workshops this summer, a participant named Don came up to me. He was thrilled about what he’d learned, but was confused about one thing. “You asked us to avoid judging each other so we could stay curious,” he told me. “But my judgments are what help me stay curious.” When he explained what he meant, it made total sense. He’s sitting there during the exercise, listening to his partner lay out her opinion on gun regulations. A judgment p

“Don’t assume that what you voted against is what they voted for.” When I read that tip from Nealin Parker in USA Today this week, I instantly recognized one of the nastiest myths in our politics: the idea that a different choice is a rejection of our values. Or, to put it in more emotional terms, that if they oppose what you support, they must hate what you love. But what if they don’t? Certainty is the archvillain of curiosity. When you think you know, you won’t think to

“Our brains are most productive when there is no demand that they be reactive.” A mentor of mine, psychologist Sherry Turkle, made that claim in her insightful book Reclaiming Conversation. And the more I study what it means to reclaim curiosity, the more I’ve come to see it as a mission critical truth. Buzzes. Pings. Notifications. That itch to check countless inboxes on email and social media. This is how our minds stay tethered to our silos, following other journeys inst