What if we didn't take this for granted?

A couple of years ago, I was giving a speech to some gifted high school students. Afterwards, their teacher came up to me and asked me a question that's haunted me ever since.

This woman had grown up in South America, in a country without any electoral freedom. From a young age, her parents taught her to always vote a certain way so that she could stay safe. They warned her that if she voted the wrong way, it might mean trouble.

It was an important warning. This teacher had had friends and relatives who had been killed for the crime of believing the wrong thing. 

But now, she told me, choking up as she spoke, she had a problem. She’d been a U.S. citizen for years, free to hold whatever ideas she chose. But that warning from her parents still sat heavy on her mind.

"I'm 49 years old and I don't know what I believe," she confessed. "How do I know what I believe?" 

How do I know what I believe? It's a question we all grapple with. But in the U.S., we can grapple with it without (for the most part!) having to worry about the sky falling down on us if someone thinks we came to the wrong conclusions. 

I hear stories about the pain caused by toxic polarization every day. Disagreeing with each other in any productive way is so hard. 

But there's a flip side to this. 

Isn't it cool that we live in a country where we are free to disagree with each other at all?

Isn't it cool that we get to decide for ourselves what we believe? 

Isn't it cool that we get to change our minds when we learn new information, whether it's from the world around us or from the people we love?

I think it's a gift.

I made the mashed potatoes, and they were a hit.

And if you had asked me yesterday, as I sat around the Thanksgiving table with relatives who each hold their own unique views on all kinds of things… that's what I would have told you I was grateful for.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend, everyone. If you find moments of conflict with friends and family this holiday season, I hope you find moments of connection with them, too.

Stay curious, all.